hi world. whats wrong with me. i feel the pain everywhere. over thinking. fear of everything. why why im not strong like before. im too young for this. okayy keep blame all on me. im tired with that. what am i to everyone. if i die one day , is there anyone would cry for me? would go to my grave? people didnt feel what i feel. they dont feel it. im just tired. tired to live. tired of all these things. sometimes i just want freedom. let me go. let me free. if i back home , im just like a maid. i have to do all those things. force me to do that. if not , im dead. what a life! sometimes i think this is unfair. enough with all the rules in school. i dont want any rules in this house! stop it. stop with all these fucking shit. 2014 , is the worst year ever in my life. enough. ill facing pt3 this year. stop torture me. stop it. and dont bother me. pls. i need spirit. if this is the key for my happiness , ill face it. but why. im not strong anymore. now im so easy to tear up. why? maybe because im hiding it inside for a long time. and im feeling im unwanted. but its true , there's nothing effect if im gone. or dead. why im so weak. i hate myself. i hate. i hate eveything about me. i dont know myself. until when i have to face these shit? its okay. ill try my best. im okay. im fine. nothing to worry. as long im still alive. im changed? the pain changed me into another person. maybe i've learnt from the pain that i feel. aidil , i loveyou. promise not to leave me alone. i need you. you got my spirit to smile back. happy. im just tired with everyone. friends? i loveyou. you guys supported me. thanks for all those support. i appreciate that. and life is still unfair. oklah. bai world. pray for me.

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